Im_Moses's Xanga

Monday, May 01, 2006

Mon, 01 May 2006 23:30:54 GMT

T
      h
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               secret's out

The Most Beautiful And Flattering Picture Of Me I've Ever Seen

Sun, 02 Apr 2006 03:41:19 GMT

what did i tell you?

man, i really forgot guestbooks existed. i should probably crap my pants
and reply to them

take a look and give me good suggestions

-Lukas

the population, and racial categories of bread, including Leprechauns

Sat, 25 Mar 2006 14:36:18 GMT

It is becoming increasingly aware to me of the how distinctly represented races are represented in common bread.

Hahaha

-Lukas

Origin of my name

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 15:54:54 GMT

Today, while driving in the car towards Blockbuster to rent Capote, my mom asked me if i bragged about being named after a paint company. I said no because i had never known. know i do. I am named after a paint. ha!

Edit
i like where these comments are going, so please,
what are you named after?

Confessions

Wed, 15 Mar 2006 21:52:24 GMT

    •I dropped Jesus out my window. he was on the spoon platform
    •I'm no longer afriad of going blind if i sit to close to the computer screen because my mom for a new gell screen moniter, and i don't coun't those. they're too soft, and glare-resistant.
    • I have sharted in the last 5 years, but shut up it was a while ago, and i was on antibiotics. You know what antibiotics do to you. They suck ass. But I'm not afriad to admit my experiences with sharting

-Lukas

Trek Trek, oops i fell on my leg - It rhymes. "no it doesn't you fucker"

Sat, 11 Mar 2006 00:02:27 GMT

Everything in Quotes is from Kelly
-pictures taken by "Kelly"-

Right after I slipped climbing on a rock.
usually I'm very agile around natures terrain "I'm not. I'm awkward as a fawn baby. a righteous baby fawn." , but apparently not today.

2 hours afterward, I got home and look, with horror.
Except it didn't hurt, really. "Ewwwwww"

"Good god, you have a lot of leg hair!"
Washing it took away he glooped bloody shit, but added the pain, and suffering

My mom is a nurse, so she had al this shit she wiped on it, although I did a perfectly adequate job of cleaning my wound.
"That's a rather dancerish pose"

Now that you've seen my battle scars, I bet you're pretty weak in the knees.
"badass." -Lukas
-" Kelly "

Question From The Gum Tnspector

Sun, 05 Mar 2006 02:56:22 GMT

on a stick of gum, I noticed that there were indentations/treads/ridges on the top and bottom. I must ask myself, why are these ridges useful? Obviously not traction. So I am putting into the hands of each of you who read this crap.

if you know the answer, please inform me and all who I have made ponder.
If not make up a funny, or educated guess.

-Lukas

Olden-Fart

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 23:33:46 GMT

   I would like to pay respect to my favorite 3D artist, whose work is mostly remembered with his soft sculptures. He made soft sculptures of ordinary household objects (ex: toilet, bathtub, light switch, hamburger). I would recommend checking out his work.. on some website I haven't found. try Google search: Claes Oldenburg.

   On a related note, I got asked today by two people what the fart I heard from my Catholic Ashing adventure sounded like. I explained it in detail to one of them, and I was too rushed to explain in full detail to the other. So when I was writing the short paragraph about Claes, I though, "well, as long as I'm sharing the soft, sagging sculptures, I might as well describe the flapping fart sound."
   We were kneeled down on the "kneeler" on my direct left, there was a man on the same pew, he was old. Diagonally forward and to my left, there was an old couple, so besides the other 87 people in the church, I was surrounded. The circumstances involving my placement around the old folk made it hard to determine whom delivered the ghastly act. I am aware that old people cant help it, so do keep that in mind as your read the following.
   Picture a pair of old people butt cheeks, sagging, pale, with ripples like bed sheets. Take in consideration the softness that come from them. soft, like two sagging, peachy, semi-circular pillows. Now imagine these pillow having a swift burst of air passing between them. Airy, breezy, flappy, loud, but not obvious. Have you ever eaten pudding, or yogurt by sticking your mouth on the spoon, full of which-ever custard you choose, and sucking into feed? if you have, then you know the sound when you reach a point where the yogurt is thinning and you hear the sound when the custard breaks and your slurping air. It was like that, but more delicate.

If you followed that, then you should be commended.

-Lukas

Groundhog (on Ash Wednes)day

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 03:27:21 GMT

My days started with school, which was pretty uneventful because it was a short day, and my classes are very boring all together, besides biology and art.

Kelly came home with me after school for an afternoon filled with a trek through my woods to test out our manual cameras, and get a feel for them. This trek was filled with a jaw bone protruding from a mossy embankment, wet shoes, struggling up and down a steep inlet which was carved by a stream, erosion as a backdrop, meditation on a rock, sliding high above the grown on a rotting tree propped up in a fork of another tree, a dead groundhog(which I plan on photoing, and videoing soon), and, of course, bitches getting crunk while eating personal frozen pizzas.

   Next was an invitation to Kelly's catholic church for Ash Wednesday, where I "got ashed". while I was kneeling on a suspended, but padded kneeling board, and listening to the old purple man talk about how horrible everyone is, I heard an old person fart. I am amazed that I kept a straight face. It was a lovely sound to break the silence. Also, I've noticed how incredibly negative religion is. "We are not worthy of your praise". What ever, mother fucker, I don't want your praise.
   No, I am not a church regular. I don't even really believe in god. I did go to a Quaker church until I was six, but then my family stops, although my grandma and grandpa are avid contributors to their Quaker "meeting". They go to different ones for some reason. I have had no idea what communion, ash Wednesday, lent, and many other terms were until just recently.

" I mean, seeing you in a church was like a polar bear in the jungle"
                          Marigrace

Lastly, I just watched the worst episode of One Tree hill I have ever seen, I take that back. It actually entertained me more than the other, because it was so freakin' funny. Although to plot was some outcast, held up the main characters with a gun in their school, and shot the blonde chick in her leg, all the crying, and pleads made me laugh. I mean imagine seeing them act that out, I would be crippled on the floor, with severe groinal pain from all the non-stop laugher. I was glad with the outcome. I hated both of the people that died. Just for the sake of the people who actually care about what happened and missed out, I would spoil it, but I was relived.

that was long, and I now have a cramp in my vertebrae. damn you spinal chord.

-Lukas

Eugene

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 01:59:13 GMT

What a great name Eugene has become in my mind. This simple proper noun possesses tremendous character, and a heart warming spirit. I've told several people why I am so fond of the name, Eugene, and it still remains today. No, it is not because of the awkward, clumsy, open-can-headed character from Hey Arnold!. Although, he is my second favorite character, besides the short lived parrot that Helga owned. The very one which flew away, and almost revealed her passionate love for Arnold. Off topic

Eugene reminds me of ketchup, yes the condiment. There is something about the name, maybe something from my early childhood. It is early because I am still living in a child-like(emperor) state(if anyone got the last parenthetic pun, please let me know. Because you are awesome). All I know, is I really like that name, Whenever i hear or say it i am reminded of ketchup, and the next item/object/idea/something of which I get to grace with my label, depending on its value, and its stature, I will, of course, name it Eugene.

Hopefully I will be able to title something before I have a child.

-Lukas